Untitled #2

“I cannot see myself here much longer.” I pondered. It’s nothing personal, the further I chew it over. I find myself wildly depressed by the thought of how society is, how life is. I was once told that the only constant in life is change. But when life becomes so mundane by brain-numbing actions; by the constant glancing of my mobile device to fill life’s void of stillness, or when literally all I find myself doing is trying to fill my day with any mindless task just so I don’t have to think as much. The constant counting in my head, the need to clean when I’m stressed out, these feelings that erode within my head like a gargoyle statue. Thinking about having to wake up every morning to go to a job, just so I can live this life that I create in my head, whether I created it or not, it just seems depressing, and I’m just unsure if this is worth it at all. The constant stress of bills and having to feed yourself and a family potentially; it make’s give’s reason as to why parents, hell, adults all drink themselves half to death every weekend. It’s a release to the weekly build-up of wanting to die. “But why continue this life of misery?” I shouted. “Why suppress when I can take this bullet train express?”